What not to do when looking for a Japanese boyfriend – asking opinions online?Posted: August 24, 2013
So this post is going to be analyzing people’s behaviour online when they’re looking for a Japanese partner. I’m going to be talking specifically about girls (non-Japanese) wanting a Japanese boyfriend and not guys (non-Japanese) wanting a Japanese girlfriend because firstly, I’m a western girl myself and secondly I don’t personally know any non-Japanese guys who are looking for a Japanese girl.
[Warning – this may turn into some kind of cray cray rant!]
I think I’ll start with what I see ALOT online in forums about Japan and that is a large amount of comments and post by girls who constantly ask the same thing every time.
‘I’m *insert name* and I really want to eventually have a Japanese boyfriend because *insert some sort of unnecessary reason*. I’ll study/work/visit in Japan at *insert time or the phrase ‘some point’* so I’d like some opinions on if you think Japanese guys will be interested in me. I’m a *insert race* girl, 1/4 *insert an asian race* and 3/4 *insert any other race*, I have big *insert eye colour* and *insert length* straight *insert hair colour* hair. I have white, very fair skin and I’m pretty skinny, I’ve always been told I was skinny and I don’t tend to put weight on at all. I’m *insert height* and (not always present) *insert BWH vital statistics/dimensions* so I’m quite *insert tall/small/average*. I’ve been told I’m very *list of traits found in Jesus or some sort of Samaritan* and I don’t get angry very easily at all, I’d like to get married some day and start a family in Japan. So do you think any Japanese men will be interested in me? ^.^
Wha-…I can’t even…no, seriously..n-what please, no no no no no! The amount of times I’ve seen this is ridiculous.
Being serious for a moment, firstly, what makes anyone a better catch for someone else because they have a certain percentage of their genes the same as the other person? Not even their genes! Just having some relatives that are the same ethnicity as another person. Does this seriously make someone a better partner? Of course not! It seems like every time I see a paragraph like this it includes the exact same info and additionally some sentence along the lines of ‘yeah so I’m 1/4 Japanese and 3/4 Western’. If you are someone who has mentioned this, stop. It’s not necessary. It doesn’t matter if you have a small amount of Asian genes in you, if you didn’t grow up in their country, you are no closer to being one of them as anyone else.
In relation to that point, why would your boyfriend ever want you to be somebody you’re not? Why would you WANT to be with someone who wanted you to be someone you’re not?! You are not Japanese and trust me, when you find the right person they will accept that. In fact it won’t even need to be accepted. Because it shouldn’t even be a problem! Don’t think about ethnicity, just think about personality. That is what will sell you trust me I know.
Moving onto that list of physical features that apparently EVERY GIRL ON THESE FORUMS HAS! Ohohohoho. They all sound exactly the same but if they were lined up next to one another they’d look nothing alike. The one thing that annoys me about this particular part of their post is the fact that they basically all describe themselves as having features that are considered, across the whole of Japan, to be pretty/cute/beautiful whatever you want to call it. Yes, having big eyes, a small face, being skinny, nice hair, these features may be largely approved of, but you’re not showing any individuality. Some advice for people who do this? You’re clearly trying to fit into somewhere you’re not meant to fit in to. I’ll say this again. You’re not Japanese. Even if you do have these features, don’t dwell on it. People might look at you and say you’re kawaii but it’s not going to help you actually gain a real, trustworthy Japanese boyfriend. It’s basically the same as people in the Western world trying to get a boyfriend or girlfriend based on their appearance alone. You know very well what people think about those types. Shallow. What makes it any different in the Asian world? Nothing.
Finally, listing all the best personality traits you have is not going to be very beneficial unless you balance it with every negative trait you posses and since that’s not exactly going to happen, you may as well stop post about your personality at all. Who the heck enters into a relationship with someone not knowing what their personality is fully like? If all you do is tell someone or show someone you’ve got a lot of patience, you’re kind and caring, you’re willing to look after them and you’re funny and good at cooking and all these wonderful traits you are not being honest with someone and that’s only going to slap you in the face with a wet fish later. Imagine living with your boyfee and one day he snaps and starts being nasty because he had a crap day at work and he didn’t see any food on the table when he got home. What if one day he’s too lazy to find a job or look after your dog or post something important for you. Know.your.partner.
I literally have crap all to say about the ‘I one day want to get married in Japan’ part. It’s probably the only decent section!
Anyway, so this is one major major MAJOR thing that should be avoided, asking questions about how your appearance and (parts of) your personality will heighten or lower your chances of getting a Japanese boyfriend. It’s just not necessary whatsoever. See you later guys!